Resume? After you…

Need to falsify yourself a resume?

Obviously a GS is above such mundane torments as work, drifting through life in a cloud of cigar smoke and elegant ladies. However, as part of a deep cover operation, or in order to infiltrate some lovely lady’s inner sanctum, you may someday be required to make a pretence of having a (ugh!) job.

Naturally you’re only doing it as a favour, not because you need one. But in order to secure yourself (ick!) employment, you’ll need to exaggerate yourself a resume.

Listing your exploits gun running in Ethiopia is surprisingly unlikely to secure you the position, as employers (a type of person, often bearded, who is not a GS) always lack a sense of humour.

Indians excel at exaggerating resumes, as indicated by the following opening statement on a typical resume. Unlike most claims on this website, this on is actually true.

Conceptualised, planned and executed the anti terrorist operation during the 26/11 Mumbai attacks

Rather an astounding intro, don’t you think? Makes the usual “Saved the CEO from an assassin’s bullet on two separate occasions” seem a bit bland by comparison. So aim high, let all your confabulations be fabulous.

At the GS we often counsel you to shock people by telling the truth, but abstain in this instance.

Happy exaggerating, eh?