The Gentleman Scoundrel’s guide to a life lived disgracefully
Do not read this blog! It is not for the faint of heart!
Stop right there.
Before going any further, get up and pour yourself a Scotch.
Now grab a cigar, and preferably, a brace of pistols.
Ordinarily, I’d recommend a nubile virgin for each knee,
but what you are about to read is so powerfully erotic
(not to mention dangerous)
that you’ll need all your wits about you.
This really works.
What you are about to read will change not only your life,
but the very foundations of your character.
It is your extraordinarily good fortune to have stumbled upon this powerful blog.
The author is one of the greatest seducers in human history.
He is also a liar, thief, cheat, cad, scoundrel, con man, and all-around scallywag – a man after your own heart, wot!
He has lived a life so extraordinary, many believe his deeds – both ghastly and glorious – to be myths, legends, tall tales whispered in the grave of night to quicken the heart, thrill the senses, and whet the appetite for enchanting yet forbidden desires.
He has been shot, stabbed, imprisoned, poisoned, beheaded, and lived to tell the tale.
He has seduced the most adorable women on Earth in front of their gormless husbands, the disgraceful bounder.
Now he’s going to show how you can do it too. You lucky blighter!
Introducing Lord Barnabas Battleaxe Flynn
(The title is as illegitimate as His Lordship)
While little is known for certain, the following has been surmised…
It is frequently alleged that for ten years Lord Flynn was Britain’s most sensational cat burglar and Europe’s most notorious con man. That he scaled buildings, palaces, manor houses and prisons, stole from Earls and Dukes, Princesses and billionaires.
He has impersonated Kings, Counts, detectives, pilots, sailors, generals, mullahs, and statesmen. He has seduced movie stars, tormented police forces, and scandalised royalty, so they say.
He has purloined diamonds, ships, helicopters, tanks, tigers, and the real Mona Lisa, which currently hangs above his dart board. He is the sinister mastermind behind the worldwide black market trade in escargot, the mysterious and enchanting Escargot Emperor…
Now retired and living a life of leisure and debauchery, he whiles away the hours upon his airship high above the Earth, with his coterie of lavish ladies.
For the first time, he will reveal how a bland, colourless chap like yourself may live the life of a Flynn.
Now flounce along to this page to get started-